mama musings | on transitions and balance
life is like riding a bicycle. to keep your balance you must keep moving.
man, have i been thinking a lot about this lately. how true is that? my knee-jerk reaction is to resist change. mostly because i am a routine-lover. i fight for consistency in life and once i find a good flow, i like to just camp there. so when i am faced with change, i often freeze or stagnate, for whatever reason. whether it is fear or complacency or frustration or even a healthy desire to maintain status quo and peace.
i get worried that if i make a change, if i do something different from my norm, from my established routine, that everything will crumble. that the balls i juggle will come crashing down. and i can't have that. those are the most important things in my life. they each have a place. they mean the world to me. i can't just swap one out or set one aside. i need them. and they need me. when new things are inevitable, so often the instinct is to stop. to start over. to lay all the balls on the floor and inspect each one. but freezing won't help the situation. denial won't help the situation. overanalyzing won't help the situation. lollygagging won't help the situation. to keep the balls in the air, you have to keep them moving. you don't stop to add another, you keep going and add another. the rhythm changes. you adapt. the form shifts. you speed up or slow down to accommodate. once i embrace change and transitional seasons in life, i find that change doesn't lead to disaster. in fact, quite the opposite occurs. change brings newness and revelation. it strengthens resolve. it binds. it reaffirms. it refocuses. and before you know it, you are juggling it all. it might be harder or different or have moments of messiness, but it is happening. and you are doing it. life is going on. the balls are in the air. you are juggling away.
and add to that the whole riding the bike thing. you hop on and start to pedal. the second you start to look down or overthink it or worry about balance, you will topple. to keep balance, you keep pedaling. faster or slower as necessary. when a hill is in front of you, you adjust the gears while you go. you don't stop mid-hill and change the settings then try to jump on and go - you rely on momentum. if you stop, you tip over or worse, roll down the hill. you pedal faster or pedal harder or change gears. or all three at once for a bit. whatever it takes in that moment to get the job done.
this is life, right now. juggling and pedaling. a circus act of sorts.
and just to be clear: i wouldn't trade my life under the big top.
we are in a season of fresh and new and busy and transition. there are wonderful things happening professionally. there are wild things happening professionally. my physical self is in a major season of change. things shift daily. spring is in full swing and summer will be here oh-so-soon. this little blog hobby of mine has led to some really cool collaborations and opportunities, and i am thrilled and honored about it all. elinor is growing up before our eyes. she is bright and funny and joyful and strong and opinionated and sweet. her days are comprised of more problem-solving and structured learning games and imaginative play. she is absorbing everything and filtering it and interpreting it back to us. her eyes are always wild with anticipation and intelligence and hope. she has transitioned beautifully and enthusiastically into her big girl bed. she is on the cusp of potty-training so we are getting everyone mentally prepared for that transition which will probably occur late summer. one thing at a time. big girl bed. big sister status. then big girl panties. she is quite quickly losing her baby-ness and morphing into a little person. it is staggering and remarkable and beautiful and crazy and so cool. and of course, we are preparing to welcome a new baby in under 80 days. we are moving furniture, tackling projects, nesting, re-reading birth and baby resources, and on and on. i know this summer will be quite the time. learning a new person, adjusting to a new person, settling into our family dynamic, establishing that routine that i love so much, expanding our hearts, shifting our expectations. what a beautiful season it will be. i love a good challenge. and i so enjoy meaningful activity. it makes me feel so full.
how i love my role as velocipedist-juggler-extraordinaire-wearer-of-many-hats. it is a good life. here's to moving and shaking. here's to balancing it all. here's to enjoying the ride.