a marriage (and life) polestar for 2015 (and always)

as i have been reading through romans and (painstakingly-ridiculously-absurdly-slowly) attempting to commit it to memory, a small passage popped out.

romans 12:10

be devoted to one another. outdo one another in showing honor.

i have most definitely read that before. it was familiar to me. i had committed it to memory long ago, sometime in high school, i think. but for some reason, it spoke to my heart in a very specific way. your marriage, rachel. do this in your marriage.

i must confess that it is often much easier to be kind and courteous and gracious towards others than my own loved ones. please and thank you roll off my tongue with complete strangers and yet, do i use respectful words with husband? do i maintain a kind tone with elinor? do i use my manners at home? not always. home is my safe space. and i often - quite foolishly - allow this security to make me lax. that is unacceptable.

my husband. my daughter. my family. the ones that i love the most should be treated with the most care. instead, it is easy to give them that, "well, they have to love me...they will love me in spite of...he is bound to me in marriage soooo..." attitude. goodness. i need to devote some attention to this.

with this passage in mind, i have resolved to be more mindful when it comes to the treatment of others. especially, my husband. ben is so kind and gracious towards me. he forgives slips and sins on a daily basis. he loves me in spite of and because of my flaws. he's pretty great. and he deserves more. quite frankly, even if your spouse or family members are less than the best, we are still commanded to give our best.

this year (and beyond) i am going to focus on living romans 12:10. i am going to be more devoted. i am going to outdo the socks off of my hubby in showing honor. i will find little ways to be thoughtful and big ways to be extravagant. the ultimate in godly competition. outdoing one another in showing honor. one action more recklessly romantic or kind or polite than the last. and this is one competition that i can feel okay about "winning" because if i am the bestest at being honoring, then ben wins too. blessings upon blessings. that's what i want for my marriage and relationships.

get ready for an honorfest, husband of mine.