bébé numéro deux | the first trimester

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our double-check-we-should-take-a-test-every-week-to-make-sure-and-pass-the-time test

a few snaps from the first trimester. hover over the picture for the week caption.

so, this pregnancy has felt much different than my pregnancy with elinor. but, i suppose each pregnancy is different like that, so...captain obvious. the struggle with early pregnancy is that it doesn't feel real. so tenuous. will it stick? is it really, really real? you get that positive test and freak out with joy before launching into more and more tests you know, just to be sure and frankly, to pass the weeks until your first appointment. and then, the serious questions ensue. am i ready for this again? will i be a good mom to elinor while i am pregnant? what will it be like to raise two? oh my gosh, kids. i will have kids. plural. like, a family of four. but woah, what if i have twins? instant family of five! or what if i am super sick? what if there is something wrong? remind me again what we were thinking? buy all the books. read all the books. up the college investment fund. nursery decorating! boy or girl. oh hey, what if i have twins? why me, why us? why not them? why do we get to do this at all let alone, again? God, are you sure about this...?

crazy questions notwithstanding, everything was smooth sailing until 6 weeks (which, by the way...who invented the pregnancy calculator? those first two weeks of pregnancy quite literally should not count as pregnancy. and don't even get me started on the "nine months" thing. it is ten. forty weeks divided by four is ten months. right?) and then, it got real. i woke up one morning in late october and pregnancy hormones smacked me in the face. i was so fatigued like crazy and i couldn't eat a thing. nothing sounded good. nothing. my stomach felt queasy. oh man. come on. i don't get morning sickness...let alone, all day sickness (which is really what we should be calling that. who decided on THAT name?). but there i was, feeling sick. it was kind of nice for like, a second. it felt like a physical confirmation of that itty-bitty thing in my belly. but, woah.

for about two days, i could barely eat. i tried my reliable peanut butter and apples (a pregnancy favorite from last time) but that made me feel worse. peanut butter, you guys! my go-to daily obsession during my pregnancy with my little peanut, elinor was off the list. all i could stomach was some fruit. maybe. i never got sick but i almost wish i could have just woken up in the morning and thrown up and moved on with my day. because this was all day long ickiness and it was the pits. i felt completely out of control.

and then, about three days into this, i picked up my trusty jar of coconut oil and decided to do my oil pulling (i had been a slacker for a few weeks). amazingly! amazingly! it completely eased my nausea. and then, it was gone. it didn't reappear at all throughout the rest of the day. had i found a miracle cure? i kept it up. every morning, as soon as the tummy started feeling funny...oil pulling. and by george, i think she's got it! sicky-icky feeling gone. the lethargic blahs lasted for the next three weeks and then, my energy magically returned and i was good to go again. oh hormones, thanks for finally settling. and glorious food! food was tasty again and kitchen smells were appealing. yes to that. (unfortunately, i have now entered the stage of pregnancy where EVERYTHING smells and tastes good so...yikes. come on, self-control.)

but thank God for feeling great. because honestly, feeling lousy is hard stuff. give me an unmedicated birth any old day. a punch to the gut, sure. tight round ligaments, okie dokie. but none of that morning sickness, no thank you. i don't know how women function for a grueling 14 + weeks with all that. bravo, ladies. you are champs. no joke. there should be trophies and awards shows and monuments for that.

we scheduled our first appointment with our midwife for the first week of december and then, waited. oh waiting, you are the worst. but it was kind of fun to have a little secret for our little family. well, to be honest, we didn't let elinor in on the glorious news until more recently because that little two year old has some majorly loose lips and we didn't want her spilling the beans too soon. we made the decision to wait to share the news until after the holiday season. i wanted to get through the first few weeks and go to a first appointment and by the time all of that would be done, there would be a very new baby sawyer and we really wanted to celebrate that and enjoy her firsts. we wanted things to settle a bit and there really didn't seem to be a good time until after the new year (plus, we needed to schedule some family pictures and create our little book to announce the news). so, we just kept it for "just us" for a few extra weeks.

we had our first appointment on december 1 and got to hear that whooshing heartbeat as a family. we confirmed our itty-bitty babe and got things planned out for the next few months. our next appointment was on january 2. more good news and heartbeat listening and planning. and we scheduled our ultrasound! january 27 is the grand occasion. getting to see that little one and hopefully find out if we are having a boy or girl. two weeks from today!!! eep! and speaking of boy or girl...names. names are so tough for us this time. my goodness. elinor was an easy choice. it made sense and we both loved it immediately. it suited her, even from the womb. but this time, my list is crazy. names on and off. differences of opinion. and if it is a boy, we are in big trouble. that has been extra tough. i guess we'll see... i am just praying that when we know boy or girl, the right name will just happen. that we will just know.

so, that's pretty much that! i am feeling really good and have lots of energy and a much too healthy (and sometimes unhealthy) appetite and we are 17 weeks in. 20 more weeks until full term! i can't believe it. baby is estimated to arrive on june 22 and if s/he is anything like miss elinor, that will be the day. which would be great. sharing a 22-of-the-month with his/her papa AND sharing a birthday with great-grandma ridley. that's pretty special. regardless of when this little one arrives, that june 22 date will always hold extra special meaning to me. it is the day circled and starred on the calendar. it is the day to which we count down for the next 23 weeks. it is special to us. and we can't wait to get there!

okay. that should just about get us caught up on the last few months. from here on out, there will be weekly updates to chronicle the bump progress and how everything is going. plus, some letters to this little one.


progress & countdown: 17 weeks down & 160 days to go!

baby size: a turnip

food & drink: the first trimester was a bit odd as i adjusted to hormones. early on, nothing sounded good. and definitely no to peanut butter. i survived on smoothies and fruit. around 8 weeks, things became more normal. except, baby really wanted protein. majorly. eggs and turkey/cheese/lettuce roll-ups with mustard and sandwiches with chicken. that stuff tasted so good. i stuck to lots of fruit and greens and salads and raw veggies during the day but by dinnertime, give me the meat. and when my very favorite veggie burger was unpalatable to me, ben became convince that there is a boy in there. we'll see about that... and ben is loving my more paleo approach right now. i am trying to keep it all in balance but get ready to see a bit more meat around here, folks.

bump stuff: baby has stayed super tucked. not a whole lot happening in that department. and, my pants still fit which is a nice change from last time. with elinor, the hips were the first to go. hips then belly. this time, the belly is popping first. it isn't much, but it is happening. in the last few days, by the late afternoon, i majorly feel it. very soon...it will be there all day long. wahoo for looking pregnant and not just like i ate way too many tacos.

highs: sharing the news with family!

lows: round ligament action. i have been doing home workouts with ben through the week and running on saturday mornings and i am starting to feel it. my body feels weird, but that amazing, there-is-a-person-in-there-weird. stretching has definitely eased some of that pulling and i am using my foam roller like it is my job.

new developments: baby's skeleton is changing form soft cartilage to bone, and the umbilical nord is growing stronger and thicker. baby weighs five ounces now and is around five inches long from head to bottom. baby can move his/her joints and sweat glands are staring to develop. and that is just this week! baby has been super busy in there over that past 17 weeks...and God does amazing things. i continue to marvel at His work. so tiny and intricate and wonderful.

meaningful moments & hormones & feelings: feeling more and more flutters. i love that part. my little bubbly butterfly baby.

superficial stuff: i am feeling much more pregnant these days. it has been pretty easy to conceal over the last weeks but it is getting serious now. and i need to up my clothing game... that bump is about to happen. yay, shopping!

looking forward to: planning the nursery and talking about baby and getting to bring home some sonograms!

rachel