dear little prince
[vimeo 127306664 w=500 h=281]
dear little prince,
look at you? you sure love a good wigglefest. you move and groove ALL DAY LONG. your sister was a mover and a shaker too but you just have a different feel. your own vibe already. i can't wait to meet you and see what you are all about. if your in utero activity is any indication, you are going to be a busy little boy. thank you for your kicking and punching and swirling and moving - it makes me feel secure that you are happy and healthy and strong (even if it makes me feel a little wonky and seasick, at times). i know that i will miss those internal waves and motions but the trade-off is oh so grand. we get a squirmy and real-deal little baby! we are so excited to meet you soon. and thank you for cooperating so that i could get those actions on video. once you are here, i will be quite preoccupied with other cool things and i want to remember how it was when you were in my belly.
tomorrow is mother's day. and i am reminded of how grateful i am that i get to participate in God's miracle of knitting together a life, bringing it into the world, and bringing it up. your sister made me a mama, little man. that is so special to me. but i like to think that i have learned a thing or two since then. God has taught me so much. and this time around - getting to become a mother again - it feels just as special. the awe and weight is not diminished one bit. YOU are a big deal. every single life is worth celebrating and cherishing and honoring. each life remarkable. new and miraculous. i must admit that i worried about my feelings and response to having another child. would i love you as much? the same? more? would having a boy be different, better, worse? would pregnancy seem as amazing the second time around? would we dedicate the same level of preparation? could we dedicate the same level of preparation? oh, how we have prayed about these things...and long before we knew you.
and God has been so good.
i anticipate your arrival just as much. it is a different kind of anticipation, though. i know more about what to expect. there is a unique confidence that comes from experience. i have a certain kind of peace about your birth and arrival and navigating those first few days and weeks. my mind is also swirling with new questions and thoughts that are reserved just for you. special things that i pray for our son. topics that i wonder about and wrestle with. and precious moments that i long to create for you and me. pregnancy has seemed just as surprising and delightful and bizarre and awesome. i was aware of your presence much earlier than i could detect elinor's. and i cherish those weeks when you were not only our little family secret but when your movements were just for me to feel and see.
and how over-the-moon we are to have a son. in some respects, i have absolutely no clue what to do with you. yet, i feel strangely calm. i know that we will figure it out. i will learn and adapt and be the best that i can for you. you will teach me as you grow. and i promise to try to keep up. by God's grace and provision, i hope to be a fantastic mama to you. to point you to Jesus. to pray for you and with you. to expand your imagination and increase your intelligence. to encourage creativity and exploration. to be playful and gentle. to be strong yet kind. to show you what it means to be bold yet polite.
little lad, you stay put for a few more weeks. do what you are supposed to do in there. we are getting things ready for you out here. and it is going to be such fun.
all our love,
mama + papa + elinor